


100 ways...is not enough

by sqiuds_02



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: 100 Ways to Say I Love You Writing Challenge, Autistic Spencer Reid, Bisexual Derek Morgan, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Queer Spencer Reid, Spencer has OCD, Spencer is bad at feelings, but he’s trying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:28:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23143177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sqiuds_02/pseuds/sqiuds_02
Summary: Contrary to popular belief Spencer Reid did actually have feelings.  A lot of them. Expressing them was the hard part.Until a quite drive to an airport changed everything.
Relationships: Derek Morgan & The BAU Team, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid & The BAU Team
Comments: 12
Kudos: 287





	1. “Pull over, let me drive for a while.” +” Can I kiss you

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! This is my first criminal minds fic so please be nice 
> 
> While this fic will focus mainly on Derek/Spencer i will being throwing in some platonic versions God I love the fam  
> I will also be combining two prompts together cause that what works for me. 
> 
> There will be some canon dialogue as well, and the story starts after the season six finale, just for reference. 
> 
> If y’all have any prompts or ideas send them my way please!

Spencer's eyes fluttered close a head lights passed, filling the car with light for a moment before leaving them in darkness. He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. he was necessarily tiered, but they were in the middle of the woods, at night, so everyone had their bright’s on. 

“Hey there, back down to earth, space man?” 

Morgans voice was playful from the driver seat. 

“Sorry,”

“Don't apologize, I wasn’t talking about anything important,” 

“Yes, you were. Don’t drop the subject.”

“What you said back ther-”

Just then the elder’s phone loudly buzzed awake in the cupholder causing both men to involuntarily jump. “Fuck” Morgan breathed out as Spencer couldn't help but start to giggle. 

“Morgan. Yes, we are on the way now, just wrapped up at the scene,” He pull the phone away from his ear, “What time did we leave?”

“11:48” Spencer answered automatically suddenly awake. What Morgan was talking about made his whole face feel hot. He had been rambling and trying to stall. He wasn’t thinking.  
Shoot. 

“Yeah, Hotch...We will meet you at the air strip...Alright man.” 

Derek hung up the phone and panic started to set in.

Oh no oh no oh nonono.

“Pull over, let me drive.” 

“What?”

“It's about another 10.5 miles to the airport. You have driven more than half. It's only fair.” 

Derek looked at him for a moment, eyebrows raised before he concedes and pulled the car over.  
Reid tugged the door handle, only to hear the locks click in car. 

“Not so fast, Reid. I was not done talking to you.”  
Reid gulped and sat back in the seat.

“When you were talking to Jeremy Riker, you said you understood what it feels like to love someone who doesn't love you back? Someone who can't love you back.” Derek sighed. “Is there anything you wanna tell me, Spencer.” 

Reid felt his stomach drop. He never called him Spencer. 

Reid let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in. He looked at his lap and said nothing. 

Maybe if he said nothing, this would end. 

“Spencer, who were you talking about?”

What does he want me to say?

“I’m sorry. I have researched an-and read everything I could find, about how to stop this. How to stop these feelings,” He could hear the tention in his own voice as the words seemed to tumble out, “I have tried everything I can but these feelings won't go away. I am so sorry Morgan.”  
A hot tear streamed face before he could stop it. He didn’t know way he was crying. There was no need to cry, he wasn’t some stupid kid. 

“Hey, hey, hey. Spencer look at me.” 

He couldn’t help but sniffle, as he turned to look Derek. He was prepared for pity or disgust to be written all over the older mand face but in the soft red glow of the interior lights of the car, he looked almost amused. 

“Why didn’t you talk to me about this?” 

“How could I? You are my best friend, as well as a straight man. The numbers weren't in my favor.”

“Spencer, you can always talk to me. We could have figured all of this sooner. How long have you felt like this?”

“A couple months”

“Spencer.” He almost chuckled as the man's attempt to be vague. 

“Five months five days and about 6 hours”

“Now that’s better. So, we could have figured this out months ago?”

“What?” Spencer brain short-curkit. 

“From now on you have to tell me what your feeling, when you're feeling it. I don’t care if it's just that you didn’t like the way someone looked at you or that you have headache. I wanna know about it ok?” Spencer nodded. 

Derek sighed through his teeth. He finally relents and the locks unclicked. 

Spencer quickly opens the door as Morgan does the same. They walked around the front of the car, meeting in the center. He tried to shuffle by the older man as quickly as possible but Derek caught his arm in a firm, but gentle grip. 

“Oh and two things, Pretty Boy. One, do not ever apologize for feelings things. Ever.” 

“Ok” Reid was so focused on getting to driver side, he didn't even prosses what Derek was saying. 

“You haven't heard the second thing, Pretty-Boy. ”  
He turns back to look at Derek.

“Can I kiss you?” 

WHAT. Morgan must have hit his head when he tacked Jeremy, he wasn't thinking straight. Or he was kidding and this was a big joke. 

Spencer just started at him, feeling his face twist into confusion. Was he pranking him?

“If this is a prank it's not funny,” He said after a moment, shame heating up his face. Derek's face softens and he released Spencer arm but keeping the younger man in front of him. He did his best to soften his face and smile. 

“I am not pranking you. I swear on my mother's life.” Derek put his whole heart into sounding sincere because he was. He wanted to kiss Spencer 

“Can I kiss you Spencer? Please?” 

Spencer made a noise, like a squeak. He stared back at the man and didn’t move. His brain felt like it was wading through molasses just to get cohesive words out of his mouth. Derek Morgan had feelings for him. Derek Morgan had feelings for him!

Spencer nodded. He didn't even realize what he was doing. Looking back, he had no idea why he nodded.

A huge smile spread onto Morgans face, illuminated by the head lights and his hand drifted to the smaller boys' hips, pulling him flush against his own. 

“I have been waiting to do this for too long,”  
Derek leaned over and pressed their lips together in a gentle kiss. Derek's lips tasted like cop coffee and the mint gum he had been chewing. They were slightly chapped too but also somehow soft.  
Derek was the first one to step back, “Not that I ever what to stop doing that, we need to get to the airport before Hotch thinks we died.” 

Spencer opened and closed his mouth in an effort to get his brain moving again.

“...Yeah” 

He climbed in to the driver's side and started the car as he pulled onto the road again. They were silent, Spencer eyes hyper focused on the road. He brain was working at 100 miles an hour while the car didn’t peak 35. 

What just happened? Does this mean that they were dating? Did Derek even want to date him? That kiss could have meant nothing. Dating him would be a nightmare. He was ocd and Asperger's. He was emotionally stunted in the romance department due to his unconventional childhood. Romantically he was extremely under devolved and underexperienced but he had been reading about the scientific and social aspects of it. There was the also not small fact that no living person had seen his shirtless let alone naked, so while Derek was a hyper sexual being as well as a sexual assault survivor so sex wasn’t an option anytime soon. The lists of reasons ‘Spencer Reid will die alone’ Is growing large by the day. 

“Spencer, you gotta a breath, baby,” Derek said calmly from the passenger side. The cold shock of shame recap as he realized how he had said all of that out loud. Derek tried his best to keep his voice calm as he translated ‘Reid Speak’ into English.  
“Dating isn't easy but I think we should give it a shot. The romantic and stuff, we can work on that together.” 

Spencer just furrowed his brow and blink. “Its that easy?”

Derek just pursed his lips and nodded, “Yeah. Sometimes it is.” 

They drove in silence for a while until they pulled onto the tarmac. Spencer hadn't stopped thinking about all the new information he had (Quietly this time) as they drove. He parked the car. Derek reached back and grabed both of there go bags from the back seat. He hands over the satchel and moves to leave.

“Derek?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you promise me something?”

Derek leaned back and looked over to him. He had pulled the scachel onto his body and held it agienst his chest.

“Please don’t break my heart.”  
He sounded so small, so unsure of himself. ‘Ok’, Derek thought to himself, ‘first thing we are working on together is his self-worth.’ 

“I promise that I will not break your heart, Spencer Reid.”


	2. "It reminded me of you” + “Happy Birthday”

Spencer didn’t know the words to describe what was going on between him and Morgan but he liked it.

It was very surreal experience. Seemingly overnight, little things shifted. He no longer took the metro home all the time; Derek would drive him. His weekends were no longer just him, alone in his apartment, reading or watching reruns; now Derek will come over with tai food, unprompted and stay to hang out. It was these little changes that Reid enjoyed most. Like right now.

They had just wrapped up a case in Washington state and the team was exhaustion. Half way through their nine-hour flight and everyone else was asleep. Derek was curled against the wall in the love seat, his head tucked into his chest. His leather jacket was tucked around him like a blanket. The plane was so quiet that he could hear a faint sound coming from his headphones that had slid off his ears over the rumble of the engine.

He sipped his coffee, and watched. Derek's eye cracked open one of his eyes with and smirk. Spencer walked back over and sat next the older man; who's hand immediately attached itself to his thigh under the table. Spencer tensed. Physical contact in public was one of the only things he wasn’t overjoyed about.

He didn’t want the team to know about them just yet. That would make it real. That was scary.

“Hey, pretty boy, you know staring is rude.”

“Well, you do it all the time.”

Their voices were barely above a whisper, the whole plane did not need to be included in their flirting. Derek smiled and leaned back against his chair.

“What can I say, I like looking at beautiful things.”

“Oh! Speaking of,” With a quick flick of his wrist, he looked at his watch and seeing that his hunch as right. He reached down and as quietly dug through his satchel. His fingers found what they were looking for and tugged a neatly wrapped package from the bag and placed it on the table.

Judging by the shape of package, Morgan deduced it was a book.

_How was he not surprised?_

He reached out from under the jacket, it falling into a puddle onto his lap. He picked up the package carefully pulling the paper away.

“It's a first edition, apparently they are kinda hard to find nowadays, but the bookstore by the police station had one for sale. **It reminded me of you** ”

Derek looked at the cover of Mother Night, it was in perfect condition. The blues and greens of the man on the cover were still saturated, the lines still crisp. He looked back up at the boy who was just staring at his watch.

“Baby...” He held up his finger and watched his watch for a moment too long.

“Spencer.” He couldn’t help but chuckle at the focus on the boy's face.

He perked up after a moment, did a quick once over of the room, making sure everyone was asleep before he reached over and grabbed Derek's face, pulling it closed and pressing their lips together. Derek's hand inevitably tightened his grip on the younger man's thigh. Spencer had never taken the initiative like this. Not that they had the opportunity, they hadn't kissed since the Rikers case and that had felt like weeks ago.

He nipped at the smaller boys' lips as he felt his face being pulled away. It took all of his self-control to not growl at the loss of the boy's lips.

“ **Happy Birthday, Derek** ”

Derek chuckled again and squeezed the boy's thigh. “Thank you, Spencer,”

He made the move to kiss the boy again. His phone jumped alive on the table causing the whole plane to jump awake. In a flash Spencer pulled away, playing innocent as the whole plane was now wide awake and vigilant. “What the hell is that?” Rossi groan from the couch and cracked her back as she sat up. Seaver rubbed her eyes and looked at Rossi who let out sigh and leaned back in his chair. Hotch had sat bolt upright, as he had fallen into a light sleep on top of the open paperwork, he hadn't gotten a chance to finish yet.

Derek groaned as he grabbed the phone, “Sorry, forgot to turn off the damn phone, nobody panic!”

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

Garcia screamed into the phone. Derek to pull the phone away from face with a grimace. Rossi starts laughing and Seaver giggled from her seat as Garcia started singing loudly over the phone, Spencer joining in. Soon the whole plane was singing happy birthday much to Derek's annoyance. He sat there and took it because, under the jacket that was spread out across he laps, Spencer had removed the hand on his thigh and interlocked their fingers.


	3. “I’ll walk you home.” + “I am driving you to the hospital”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So I am posting most of what I have written today. These next few chapters are going to happen right after the previous ones but I am trying not to make a habit out of doing that.  
> Any prompts send them my way!

Undercover was something that Spencer was surprisingly good at. People didn’t believe it from far away but he was. 

He sat in a club in Maryland, trying to look bored. He absent mindedly stirred his drink and made sure Derek stayed in his peripheral's as he went over to the bar to close their tab. His skinny jeans and tee-shirt were too tight, too  revealing . 

Four gay couples had  been attacked in the last month. One was beaten within an inch of their life while the other was kidnaped and later turned up dead with signs of sexual assault. 

When  Hotch had proposed the undercover, Morgan had the audacity to laugh cause honestly the irony was too good.

“You ready to go baby?” 

“Yes please.” 

He tried to sound as annoyed as possible. Witness had claimed that the men that were kidnaped had been complaining all night. 

“You don’t have to be so  pissy , sweetheart,” 

Morgan took Reid's hand and the pair made their out of the club. 

“Ha. ha. ha. Very funny.” 

A cab pulled up but just to plan, Morgan sent it away,

“What are you doing?” Play innocent. Play cute.

“I much rather feel like  ** walking you home”  **

“Oh yeah?” Lay it on thick. Not that was hard. Flirting with Morgan, in public was nice and surprisingly easy. 

“Yeah,” Morgan tugged at the boy's arm pulling him away from the cab and started down the street. Spencer chuckled and swatted his arm before allowing it to be wrapped around his shoulder, their fingers interlocked. They talked about nothing in particular. 

The movies they saw last week, about Diana and her treatments.  They were coming up to an alley and Spencer had an idea. “Hey,” 

He tugged at Morgans collar and made their lips meet. Derek smiled into the kiss and maneuvered them so that they were kissing in the alley. 

Derek was commanding, pressing Spencer back pressed again the cool stone of the building. He tasted of  cheap beer and mint. 

“You taste like cheap beer.” He said matter of fact, running nails over exposed skin on Derek's neck. Derek chuckled and started to make his way over the boys' neck placing kisses and bites all over the delicate skin. 

“I am trying to talk to you, lover boy.” He giggled as the larger man just ‘hmm-ed” and He kept the kisses light and gentle until he got under the line of his collar, he bit down hard. He groaned and leaned his head back exposing his neck to the older man's mouth.  _ Shit that felt good. _ His eyes rolled back just enough that a shadow caught his eye. Someone was watching them. 

He grabbed Derek's shoulder and squeezed, 

“Derek, someone is watching us.”

That got Derek moving away from his neck. 

“Hey this ain't a peep show, move on.” Derek growled, before he moved to kiss Spencer again.

_ Show hesitation. _

“No, no. Stop it! He’s still watching,”

Derek pretended not to listen, kissing Reid roughly. This was the part of the plan that had stopped Morgans laughing cold. All the smaller partners had shown resistance to being watched and thier partners had not listened. That’s what sent the unsub off. 

While his mouth was rough and swallows Reid's protests but his hand was gentle on his hips.

“He said back off, man,” The shadow had moved closer. He was standing over the two them in an instant. 

“My boyfriend, my rules, man.” 

_ Boyfriend... that’s a new word.  _

A sick crunch sounded as a pipe was brought down on Derek's head. Spencer didn’t have enough time to scream because a cloth-cover hand clamped over his mouth, his head slammed back against the wall. He whimpered and struggled weakly as his limbs had started to feel heavy before being throw to the ground. 

He had been drugged. __

_ Shit, where was the team? Oh, right he didn’t have time to send the signal. Awe Hell! _

His head was swimming as he weakly tried to look around,

_ Fuck, where the fuck is Derek? _

He could hear grunts and shouts and noises of flesh hitting flesh. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t think. With all the  strength he could muster he tugged the cloth over his mouth off so he wasn’t breathing through it anymore. He taking deep breaths of clean air. He needed to get up. He needed to move. 

He rolled over to see the Unsub siting on Derek's chest, punching him. Derek was trying his best to fight back but he was losing ground fast. Even though his vision was still swimming, Spencer pulled himself across the ground the best he could. His hand made contact with Derek's boot. More importantly, the gun strapped to his ankle. He jerked it free and pressed the  barrel to the center of the unsubs back. 

“FBI. Put your hands up or I will shoot you.” 

As if on  cue, Rossi and  Hotch came sprinting around the corner, guns drawn. 

Spencer sighed as  Hotch tugged him off and cuffed the unsub of Derek. The group kind sat there panting for a moment before more cops filled the alley. The unsub was carted away, struggling.

Spencer and Derek were leaning against the wall. Rossi had produced a handkerchief from his jacket and was holding it against Derek's busted lip. Spencer was struggling to stay conscious. His head was pounding and his eyes couldn’t focus. His forehead felt suspiciously wet. 

“Ok so the paramedics are ten minutes out, and I don’t like the way Reid head is bleeding.  ** I am taking you to the hospital.”  ** Hotch said as he hauled Spencer up and motioned for Rossi to do the same with Derek. Spencer was absolutely no help, as his head was swimming. He leaned his whole weight on  Hotch as he was pushed into a black sedan. Derek soon appeared next to him.  Hotch climbed into the driver side. 

He leaned against Derek strong shoulders as they drove. He felt much better than the wall.

He was just breathed in Derek's sent as he slipped into  unconsciousness


	4. “I dreamt about you.” + “Its ok. I bought two”

Spencer awoke with a start, blinked at the white tile ceiling. God his head hurt. 

His neck was stiff as a board as he tried to look around the hospital bed. He was in the emergency room, as people were rushing around on the other side of the glass in front of him every so often. 

His eyes caught a movement to his right. Derek was sitting in one of those crappy hospital chairs  jell-o cup in hand. 

“Hey, Hey you're ok.” Derek's hand landed on his fore arm, Jell-O cup abandoned on the bedside table. 

“Sorry,” His mouth felt like he had eaten a mouthful of cotton, “Bad dream.” 

“Nightmare?” 

“No... No, I don’t think so. Just a bad dream.”

“ Wanna talk about it?”

Instinctually he wanted to say no, to push him off, but a tiny voice in the back of his head told him that it was ok, so he did.

“ ** I dreamt about you.  ** When the unsub was attacking you... I couldn’t get to you and he just kept hitting you.” 

Spencer pulled himself up so he was sitting. As he was now fully awake, Spencer could see two little butterfly bandages on Derek's eyebrow. His nose looked ok but his eyes were darker the normal. And his lip was split and bruised. Spencer couldn’t help but reach out, fingers bushing His swollen lip. 

“I am sorry I wasn’t fast enough” 

Derek held his wrist. He brought the younger mans knuckled to his lips, giving them a small peck before placing it back on the bed. 

“None of that, Kid. You did the best you could. He had drugged you. Busted your head open too, n eeded four stitched. Considering all that, you did great.” Derek smiled at him. They sat like that for a moment, Spencer's brain felt like it was going two miles an hour. 

“I was so scared that he was going to hurt you.” 

“Well, he didn’t get very far now did he? That’s all thanks to you, Baby boy .”

Derek smiled again. He reached back for his  jell-o cup and took a bite. 

Spencer pulled his legs out from under the blanks. He was still in his own cloths. That’s good. 

“Can I have a bite please?” Spencer did his best puppy dog eyes on the older agent. 

Derek looked at him for a moment before rolling his eyes and handing over the cup,

“I didn’t ask for the whole cup!” 

** “ ** ** Its ** ** ok. I bought two.” ** He pulled a second cup from seemingly no-where. 

_ It's now or never,  _ Derek thought. 

“Hey, the doctor said that you might have some memory gaps from last night,”

Spencer nodded, completely engrossed in his Jell-O. 

“Yeah I don’t remember a lot. Bits and pieces.” He stilled for a moment, lost in thought. His smile had faltered, going from giddy to a smaller more polite He was blushing all the way up to his ears. 

“You called me your boyfriend. You weren't supposed to do that...”

“But I did.”

“Why?” 

“Because I care about you. I know that you're not great at ‘feelings’ and I am not either to be honest. I know we both have a lot of emotional baggage, but I care about you.”

He was right, feelings were hard but feelings surrounding Derek were easy. That was scary in its self?

“I like it. When you called me your boyfriend, like it a lot.”

“ So, I guess that’s settled”

“Seems so,”

Spencer giggled as he took a bite. He was sitting in an emergency room in the middle of nowhere, Maryland, eating  Jell-O , with Derek Morgan, his  _ boyfriend  _ of five minutes. 

“This is our first real date.” He said matter-of-factly. 

Derek turned to look at Spencer. He looked pleased, grinning as he took another bite of  Jell-O . 

“That ok with  you,  pretty boy?”

“Oh absolutely.” 


	5. “Take my jacket, it’s cold outside.” + “Call me when you get home”

** “Take my jacket, it’s cold outside.” + “Call me when you get home” **   


A nurse popped into the room a while later. She gave him a last once over, giving him the all clear. She smiled at him before handing over the discharge papers to  Derek .

“I had a jacket, when I came in, do you know where that is?” Spencer asked before she left.

“It was contaminated,” She said awkwardly, “with yours and Mr. Morgan blood and the drugs you were drugged with. There was quite a cocktail. Your team leader said he would give you a full report.” 

Spencer nodded as she left. “Damn, I liked the jacket.” 

Derek chuckled as he read the paperwork he had been handed. “You cold or something?” 

“A little.” 

Derek collected up his paperwork and walked over to where Spencer was siting. 

“ You're not subtle you know that?” 

“Hmm?” Spencer looked up at him, head cocked to the side. He had no idea what Derek was talking about. 

Derek laughed harder, as he looked at the boy's face, filled with confusion. He really didn’t know. 

**“Take my jacket, it's cold outside,”** Derek exaggerated the words dramatically. 

He shrugged off his leather jacket and draped it over Spencer's shoulders. The jacket seems to consume his man smaller shoulders, making him look so much younger. 

“ Imma turn this stuff in so we can go, ok?”

Spencer nodded as the man left the room. He could feel the heat on his cheeks as he pushed his arm through the sleeves, cuddling deeper into the warm leather jacket. It smelled like Derek's colon, drowning out the sterile scent of the hospital. He sat for a moment before  remember it might be hard to leave in only socks. 

Hopping off the bed, he wandered around room for a moment before finding his converse tucked under the chair Derek was sitting in. He tugged them on and wandered towards the door. Peeking out he saw Derek talking to one of the nurses in the nurse's station. 

“Looks like your good to go!” The nurse smiled at the pair of them, as he walking over to the desk.

“We are wait here for a little while longer,  Hotch said he was meeting us here.” Derek turned to informed him. 

The small-town emergency room went from moderately calm to chaos in a matter of moments as just then the double doors of the emergency bay whisked open. Derek's arm stuck out, keeping Spencer and himself pressed against the desk as four gurneys were rushed by and nurses sprang from their stations. 

In the flurry of activity, the team started to appear. JJ and  Hotch had come in with two of the men. JJ’s eyes caught spencer and she smiled, mouthing a quick  _ “Its ok.”  _ He must have looked panicked. 

After talking to one of the EMTs,  Hotch made a beeline for his two agents. 

“We found all the missing people. They all have been beaten and there are some signs of sexual assault but they should be alright.  Seaver and Rossi are come in behind us. They went back to the station with the unsub for questioning. Can you fill them in for me?” 

“Of course,  Hotch .” Derek nodded. 

“Alright.”  Hotch turned back around and started to try to organize the chaos, along with the head nurse, so he could keep track of the victims. 

They just kind of watched everything, waiting for Rossi and Prentiss. Soon they arrived and they huddled in the waiting room. They were joined by  Hotch soon after that. 

There was enough evidence to put the unsub away from life, so that was good. The local police forces had a handle on the rest of the case so they were being sent home. Spencer was tired, even though he had been sleeping for the last two hours, so he wanted to get home, to his own bed. 

Hotch had grabbed Derek holding him back from the group as they exit  towards their cars. 

“ Wanna ride home? Your bags still in the back.”” Rossi asked kindly. Spencer turned back to look at Derek who shook his head. 

**_ “Call me when you get home,” _ ** __ He mouthed quickly before direction his attention back to the unit chief.

Spencer gave a pursed smile and turned back to Rossi, “That would be great, Rossi. Thank you”

-

He waved Rossi off as he stood on the front stoop of his building. She pulled away from the crib and disappeared down the street. He sleepily climbed the stairs to the second floor. He fumbled with his key chain, unlocked his apartment door and shuffled in. He closed and locked the door behind him. 

He wiggled of his satchel bag off of his shoulder and dropped it on couch with a small thud. He toed off his shoes and placed them on the shoe rack pressed against the back of the couch. He shuffled through his bedroom into his bathroom.

Damn he looked  _ rough.  _

He looked paler than usual, the bags under his eye darker. There was a nasty gash on his forehead, neatly stitched up. He reached up and brushed the hair away from it. It throbbed at the light touch, causing Spencer to cringe. They had given him numbing cream, as narcotic painkillers were out of the question. 

He should go get that before the pain gets worse. His eyes drifted down as he moved to leave the bathroom when the back leather caught his eyes. He was still wearing  Derek's jacket.

Derek!!

Spencer throw the jacket onto his bed as he couldn't lift his arms up while wearing it. He walked back into the living room quickly, digging through his bag to grab his phone and the  numbing cream. 

He quickly tapped Derek contact as he walked back to the bathroom. He pressed the phone against his ear as it rang, dabbing cream on the now throbbing injury.

“Hey.”

Forget the cream, the throbbing almost disappeared the  minuet Derek picked up. 


	6. “I was just thinking about you.” + “I believe in you”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok in this chapter Spencer gets a little over stimulated in this chapter but he's ok.

“Hello.” 

“ ** I was just thinking about you.” **

He hissed out a laugh as Derek's voice filled his ears. He had been so focused on the phone that he pressed too hard on the sensitive skin. 

“Everything ok?” 

“Yeah, I just pressed too hard on my  stitch's . You distracted me.”

“Distracted you?  _ You _ called  _ me, _ baby boy.” 

Spencer felt his face heat up at the  nickname . 

“Because you told me too.”

“Do you do everything your told, Spencer?” 

“I would like to think so, yes .”

Derek chuckled into the phone, “Alright, I will keep that in mind.  So, you got in ok?”

“Yeah, I did.” 

He finished up with his injury and wandered back in to his bed room, not even bothering to turn on the lights as he flops on his bed. 

“Why did  Hotch want you to stay after?”

“Ah, nothing much.” 

“Really?” He tugs at the too tight jeans. He hated this fabric. It was too tight, too scratchy and tight. 

“Yeah...some stuff about Jack.” 

“Is Jack ok?”

“Yeah, definitely. He just started taking a karate class and that’s not Hotch’s field of expertise.” 

“Oh, really?” Spencer tried not to breath into the receiver as he struggled with the stupid jeans 

“Yeah, Jack really likes it,” Derek chuckled “And Hotch is freaking out a little about how much he likes it.”

“ That's good.” 

“Spencer you ok?” 

“Yep! Fine!” He was getting more frustrated by the minute as he struggled.

“Babe?”

“I am stuck in these STUPID jeans!” He growled out eventually.

Now that made Derek full on  belly laugh. 

Spencer put the phone on speaker as he threw his phone on the bed, sitting up and tried to tug the pants off his thighs 

“It's not funny! This fabric is too scratchy and tight!” He could feel the panic rising in his throat. Derek laughing stopped almost instantly.

“Hey, hey its ok! Just take a deep breath. Focus on my voice.” 

Spencer fell back and panted trying to calm himself. 

“Ok, now Just try to slowly. Take them off one leg at a time.”

He managed to get the jeans down to his knees, before he stilled. The texture was almost unbearable now that he was aware of it, as it kept rubbing his skin in his attempts to get them off. 

“Come on  now , ** I believe in you.”  **

With a final valiant effort, he tugged off the left leg and then the right. Once they had left his body Spencer threw the pants against the wall.

“Devil Pants!”

“There you go  baby; see they can't hurt you no more.”

Now that the pants were off him, he felt himself almost sobering up. He skin felt cold as he sat in his boxers. 

“Sorry. That was childish.”

There was a sigh from the other side of the phone. 

“Spencer, you don’t have to apologize. I get it. Some textures are just a no-no.”

“Tonight, has been very over stimulating, the  hospital , the devil pants” He yawned “the undercover stuff we had to do.”

“Were you ok with that by the way? I know you had to act like you didn’t want it but if you really didn’t please tell me.”

“I did like most of it,  it's just that...” He couldn't think of the right words to say.

“Just what?”

It took Spencer a moment to figure out how to article his feelings “That kind of stuff...that  kinda kissing...its private .”

“Ok, from now on  private time only.” Derek couldn’t help but  sigh in relief. 

“Are you home?” Spencer didn’t bother to turn speaker phone off as he curled under his blankets, he placed it on the pillow next to him.

“Yeah. Just got in.” 

“We have time off tomorrow, what are you doing?” 

“I  gotta get some work done on one of my restorations, but we could hang out if yo-”

“Tell me about it.”  Spencer yawned softly.

“What?” Spencer could hear the smile in his voice. 

“Tell me about the house your working on.”

So, Derek started to talk about some molding he was working on and paint tones he  wants for the living room, how he had found some old furnisher he found in the attic the he planned using. 

He was talking about windows when he finally looked at the clock.

_ Crap. He had been talking for an hour about random house shit. _

“Sorry, I got a little carried away there.” 

There was no answer. Just soft breathing. He had fallen asleep. Derek leaned back in his own bed and listened to the boy breath. 

This kid was  gonna be the death of him. 

He had been wrangling his own feelings around Spencer for a while before the Rikers case. He had like men before, hell he had slept with more than a couple, that wasn’t the issue. He had wanted more from Spencer. 

There was also the not small issue of Spencer having only really kissed two people that he knew of, but no one had wiggled their way in to his brain like the skinny genius had. He hadn't cared this much before. 

They had been dating, what, 4 hours? Damn he had it bad. 

Over the phone, the man in question let out a small snore. 

A smile tugged at Derek's lips. He was going to do everything in his power to protect him. 

“Good night, Spencer.”


	7. “No, No, it's my treat.” + “Can I Have this dance?”

Derek looked sadly at the stack of files he still had to get through. 

Strauss had caught him just as he was leaving. It wasn’t a secret that Derek would skim off some of the paper work so Hotch could get home earlier, home to jack. Hotch had already left or he would have taken some which Derek was silently grateful for. 

That unfortunately meant that his plans to see a movie with Spencer were dashed. He sighed as he pressed the phone to his ear

“I am sorry baby, but there is no way I am going to get all this before midnight let alone in time for dinner.”

“Hey, it fine. Duty calls. Just promise me that you won't stay there all night. You need to sleep too.”

“Alrighty then, I should go if I have any hope of that.”

“Ok, I'll see you later”

“Later, Spencer”

He hung up the phone and got to work. 

-

Morgan had started to zone out when there was a gentle knock on the glass of his door. He turned down the soft music playing from his laptop. 

“Come in”

No one knocked on his door, except...

“Hey, I ah, need some help with the door.” 

Derek walked over and opened the door, to see Spencer in all his glory. He had two travel mugs in his hands and takeout bag precariously balanced between his arms. He was also wearing a pullover sweater from Caltech. One he deemed “Improper for work” (His words). Derek on the other hand, thought that he looked handsome as hell.

“What are you doing here, Pretty boy?”

“You said you couldn’t make dinner so I brought it to you.” He said simply walking past Derek and placed both mugs on the coffee table as well as the take out bag. 

“You didn’t need to do that, Spencer. I could have just gotten some when I got home.” 

“ **No, No it's my treat** .”

Derek closed the door and (just to be safe) drew the blinds. He didn't need some over productive intern looking in and asking why they were both here so late. He walked over to where the younger agent was unpacking the Chinese food boxes onto the table. He placed his hands the smaller boys' hips.

Derek didn’t ignore the way the boy tensed at the touch. After the plane incident, Spencer had put a no-go on PDA. Which Derek understood he really did. Both men relationship with their sexuality were complicated and they were feeling things out. It was not helped by the fact that they were on the same team. That would be a whole other problem. 

“It's ok hon, no one can see us,”

“You don’t know that. Besides someone could walk in.” 

Morgan huffed and backed off. 

“Whatever man,” 

There was no anger in his voice. He grabbed a mug and made his way back over to the desk. 

“Thank you, Spencer. I'll see you tomorrow then.” 

“No thanks, I have nothing better to do.” 

With a no-nonsense attitude, Spencer walked over and grabbed a chunk of files off the stack and plopped down on the little black love seat. 

Derek made the move to protest but it died in his throat as Spencer looked at him over the rim of his glasses. So, he turned the music back on and the both of them got to work. 

They made a system, Derek filled out the parts that needing filling and Reid read the reports for errors. Soon the sizeable stack had be transferred to the “done” pile, the thai food containers neatly stacked. 

“And done!” Derek dramatically leaned back into his rolling chair his arms up in victory. “Hallelujah!”

Spencer giggled over the rim of his travel mug. 

A thought popped into Derek's head. He turned to his laptop and turned the music up. Spencer was neatly putting boxes back into the takeout bag, none the wiser. He walked over to the boy, sticking his hand out. 

“I don’t need help getting up, Derek. My knee isn't bothering me tonight.” 

“That's not what I was doing.  ** Can I have this dance? ** ”

He gestured again and Spencer finally took his hand. Derek tugged the boy up and pulled him flush against him. He placed his hand on the smaller boy's hips.

Derek just hummed along with the music, dancing around with a boy in his arms. 

Spencer couldn’t help but start to giggle he wrapped his arms the taller man's neck, pulling himself closer and resting his forehead against his partners collar bone. They danced in small circles around the office, Derek whispering sweet nothings into his ears.

The music and the closed door made it so the boys didn’t hear the clicks of heels down the hall as Penelope Garcia made her way towards them. Derek had texted her about staying late and she knew that meant. She would find him passed out on his desk the next morning. 

As she made her way down, she could hear soft music and soft laughter. Her quick walk was soon a stealthy creep. As she made her way to the door, she peaked into the crack between the blinds and the wall. She saw her Morgans arms warped around a smaller, short haired body. They were swaying around the room and laughing at themselves. She smiled. Derek's face was so relaxed and peaceful. Whoever mystery dancer was, she liked them already. 

She quietly as she could, remove her phone from her cardigan pocket and snapped a few photos as the pair swayed around some more, allowing Derek's dancing partner to come into view. 

“Oh my god!” She couldn’t help but gasp as she snapped another pic of the pair, Reid's face clearly tucked into Morgans shoulder before she quickly pocketed her phone. They were both laughing at something he had said as Morgan pecked his forehead. She turned back on her heels and power walked back to the elevator and Kevin, who was playing on his phone. She grabbed his arm and yanked him into the elevator.

She _needed_ to talk to Derek, first thing in the morning. 

But that chat got interrupted by a crazy person killing people so she never got the chance. 


	8. “Come here. Let me fix it.” + “You don’t have to say anything”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is honestly one of my favorite chapter.

Derek knew that Spencer was upset about the recent ‘development’ around Emily, but he didn't know how pissed he was until they had gotten back to the station.

“You couldn’t? Or you wouldn't?” 

Spencer's voice sounded angry from the conference room. 

“No, I couldn’t.”

“What if I had started taking Dilaudid again? Would you have let me?”

“You didn’t...” 

“Yeah, but I thought about it.”

Trying not to eavesdrop on the conversion was very hard. ‘Dilaudid’ was fresh in his head and not in a good way. Like it would ever be good. He still remembered that night,

\-----

_ Spencer pounding on his door at an ungodly hour. He looked like a drowned rat, standing on Derek's stoop, the glow of the porch lamp made him look all sharp angles.  _

_ “Spence, it’s the middle of the night. What are you doing?” _

_ “I almost bought  _ _ Dilaudid _ _ tonight. I had a meeting set up with a dealer downtown and I almost went. I don’t trust myself right now, please don’t let me be alone.” Spencer was nearly hysterical,  _ _ shaking _ _ and panting.  _

\-----

It took all of his energy not to go over there and try to calm the both of them.  Hotch was looking at them as their conversion was no longer private

“Spence...I am sorry”

“It's too late, alright!” He stuck his arms out angrily and stormed out of the bullpen 

“Reid...” 

The team just sort of stood there in shock. Spencer was the most level headed of the group. It was unsettling to see him lose his temper, especially at JJ. 

Emily made a move to follow him, but Morgan grabbed her arm and shook his head. 

“I'll go get him Prentiss; you just keep working.”

He left the bullpen after a nod from Hotch. The hall that Spencer had ducted out of only lead to a door to the outside, a little back-alley primarily used by the smokers of the station. He walked over and pushed the door open. Spencer looking like he was trying to wear a hole in the pavement, muttering to himself and running his hands through his hair as he paced back and forth. His crumpled tie and the case file in his hand had been deposited by the door. 

“I have feelings!”

“What?”

Reid had snapped up so quickly, Derek brain didn’t even have time to commute.

“I have FEELINGS!” 

“I know you do, but I don’t understand what you're talking about right now.”

“Jennifer said that the only reason I am mad right now is because I couldn’t tell that her and  Hotch were lying to us. That they controlled their ‘micro-expressions’ so well that I couldn’t profile them. Its total... total Bullshit!” 

He threw his arm up him air again before allowing them to drop. He was panting as the high from rage had dropped and now, he just looked tired. 

“Spencer,” 

“I cried on her couch for ten weeks! And all she can think of is my profiling skills!!” 

“Spencer.” Derek reached out and held the boys sholders. He tried wiggle free but Derek's grip was strong. The brunette let out a choked sob. 

“She was my friend, and she was dead.” His voice cracked at the last word.

Derek pulled the boy into his arms as the tears began to fall. He sobbed into the older man chest. Derek rubbed circling in the smaller man's sweater vest as he kept sniffling. He was at a loss for words, unsure of what to say to the younger man. Spencer had been struggling with his feelings around Emily. He had never lost a friend like that before, so his feelings were complicated on good days. 

“ ** You don’t have to say anything. ** I am fine .” He sniffled into Morgans shirt. The boy could read his mind sometimes. Spencer pulled back and wiped his eyes and sniffled. 

Derek gave a weak chuckle and smiled at the boy. 

“You need to let me help you sometimes, Baby.”

Ried cleared his throat again, giving a weak smile. Derek reached down and picked up the file folder from the ground, handing it back to him. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled weakly, taking the tie off the top. He undid his collar and started to retie it, but his fingers couldn't seem to get a good grip. 

** “Come here, let me fix it” **

He tugged at the doctor's collar, pulling him close. 

“You know sometimes you gotta let me help you.” 

Spencer let out a sniffle. 

“I am sorry, we have work to do, there is no time for this,” 

Spencer tried to pull away but Derek kept a tight grip on the newly tied tie. 

“Remember what I told you the first time we kissed.”

Spencer nodded and cleared his throat again, his cheeks going pink,

“Yeah of course I do,”

Derek raised his eye brows, “And? What did I say?”

“Do not ever apologize for feelings things. Ever”

“Now there we go, see how hard was that? Now all we  gotta work on is you remembering that.” He gently poked Reid’s nose, “I mean it. You got me, Pretty boy. Now just take a moment and relax yourself. I’ll cover for you.” 

Derek released him and turned and walked back into the precinct. Emily was waiting in the hall way worry etched into her face. 

“Prentiss, just leave him alone.” He didn’t mean to sound rude but after all, a little rude is warranted. 


	9.  “I like your laugh” “I think you’re beautiful.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok...I am sorry that i have been gone for so long. Corona; a break/makeup and i am starting collage.  
> sorry again.  
> If any one wants to beta read this please message me! @ lil-lion-women on tumblr

Keeping their relationship, a secret was getting harder and harder. 

He had agreed to have a drink with Prentiss, so here he was sitting in a crappy booth in a pub, who music was too loud, laughing at one of one of the guys currently hitting on her. That poor sap didn’t have a chance. His phone buzzed alive in his pocket. 

As he pulled it out of his pocket and cursed to himself as he looked at the time 

9:39. Crap. 

Spencer was calling him. Double crap. 

He quickly slipped out of the booth and ducked outside, pressing the phone to his ear. 

“Hey baby, I am so sorry.” 

“Why are you sorry?” Spencer sounded amused. That was good. 

“Sorry I am late for date night.” 

“I assumed you would be, Emily makes you lose track of time.” 

“Yeah she does. We are still at the bar.” He chuckled softly as the women in question appeared next to him. 

“So, I'll see you tomorrow then.” There was the disappointment he was waiting for. 

“Hey, now. I am still coming over, if that’s ok with you.” Emily was grinning at him. He wasn’t going to try and act like he wasn’t talking to Spencer. She was too smart for that, but she didn’t dint need to know it was _Spencer._

There was a beat of silence. “Only if you bring tai food.” 

“Will do.” 

“I will see you in twenty-three minutes.” 

He chuckled. Of course, Spencer could figure out how long it would take. To anyone else, it would almost seem like a threat, but Spencer really just like maps and math. 

“Ok baby, I will see you then.” 

The moment he hung up the phone. Emily was all over him. “Who was that? You gotta girlfriend Morgan?” She made a kissy face at him. 

He chuckled despite himself. He knew he couldn’t lie, but he could take it vague. Derek started to make his way to his car Emily trailing behind him. 

“I gotta _boyfriend_ , Emily, who is currently waiting for me.” 

That stopped her in her tracks. 

“Oh my god? Since when had Derek Morgan had a boyfriend?” 

“He’s officially, about a month.” A month, four days and two hours. Spencer had told him this morning over coffee 

“No shit.” She leaned up against her car, grinning. Derek always hated her ‘I-got-what-I-wanted' grin. 

“Hey Emily, can you keep this to yourself for now? Just for a little bit. This is his first real relationship, with anyone.” 

She held up her hand to stop him, “I don’t need the whole speech, Derek. I get it. I really do. Now go, he's waiting for you right?” 

She teased as Derek climbed into his car and pulled away with a wave. 

\- 

Exactly twenty-three minutes later, Derek was knocking on Spencer's apartment door, tai food in hand. 

He opened the door after the first knock “Right on time,” He grinned as he ushers Derek inside. 

“I got all your favorites.” Derek stated as he made his way to the kitchen, pecking Reid on the cheek as he went. 

Spencer giggled as he followed. 

“How was Prentiss?” 

“Good, some guys tried to hit on her for like twenty minutes,” 

Spencer chuckled as he grabbed plates from his cabinets, “Yeah, bet that went well.” 

“She laughed in his face.” 

“Seems about right.” 

Soon, with food in hand, they both made their way into the living room. Spencer was watching Doctor who so as soon as the two of sat on the couch eating dinner. 

When they were both done eating, the stacked their plates on the coffee table. Derek leaned back, arms on the back of the couch. Spencer sat sort of stiff until Derek reached up and tugged so he was cuddled up in Derek's side. Almost instantly Spencer relaxed and cuddled into Derek's side. 

It was a funny episode, even Derek laughed at a couple of the jokes, but every time there was a joke one that Derek knew the boy against his side would laugh at, he just huffed a little and snuggled deeper in Derek's side. 

“Why aren't you laughing at any of this, pretty boy?” 

“I am.” 

“Ok,” _li_ _ar._ A wicked thought popped into Derek's head. He shifted his arm slightly so he hands came to rest against the smaller man's ribs. His fingers curled and uncurled subtly gauging the boy's reaction, the muscles rippled involuntarily at his touch . _Perfect_. He dug his fingers in the boy's ribs. 

“Derek!” Spencer shrieked and tried to jerk away as he was being tickled relentlessly “No!” Derek didn’t relent in is assault. Spencer exploded in a fit of loud giggle. He jerked and tried to get away. “Nononon- Stop!” His whole face was red as he fought the grin on his lips. The brunette tried to wiggle away desperately and a power struggle ensued. 

The scuffle ended with Spencer pinned under Derek on the couch, his hands pinned above his head. They stayed like that panting for a moment. 

**“I like your laugh”**

Spencer blinked up at Derek “...Why?” 

“Because I like you.” 

“Why?” 

Derek pushed himself up, looking down at Spencer's face. 

“What do you mean “Why”?” 

“I mean, why do you like me?” He chuckled softly. 

He let Spencer out of his grip, sitting back on the couch. Derek sat there sunned “Why would you ask me that?” 

Spencer propped himself up on his elbows. “I don’t know,” He rolled off the couch and collecting the dishes taht were stacked on table, “Forget I said anything. It's getting late, you should get going.” He said quickly, before he quickly disappearing into the kitchen. 

Derek sat there, thinking for a moment before he quietly got up. He made his way over to the door to the kitchen, leaning against the door jam. Spencer's back to the door, his hands in the sink. 

“ **I think your beautiful** , by the way” 

Spencer hands stilled for a moment before starting up again, 

“We have had this conversation before. I like you cause your, you. I have said it practically a million times, so I know you know. Why would you ask me a question when you already know the answer?” 

Derek waited for Spencer to stop washing dishes and turn to look at him, but he didn’t. The silence hung in the air, an answer in its self. 

“Spencer.” 

“What?” He sounded so small. 

“What's going on in the big old head of yours?” 

The tension he was carrying in his shoulders dissipated as he sighed, as he shut the water off and stilled his hands. 

Derek straighten up and made his way over to the sink. He walked slowly giving Spencer plenty of time to move away or say something but he didn’t. Derek put both hands on Spencer sholders and turned him around so they could talk face to face. “Please talk to me, baby. I can't do anything to help you if you don’t tell me what's wrong.” 

“It's my mom.” 

“She ok?” 

“Yeah, she’s fine, I guess. Her medication isn't working like it used to and she had been having problems all week but she hit... she hit one of the nurses today. She just hit him on the hand when he tried to put her book away, a little slap, ya’know. He’s new and he just thought she was sleeping.” He sighed and dug the heels of his hands into his eyes. “She has never been violent and if this becomes a pattern... The facility can't handle that. She will have to be transferred somewhere else...” He groaned and softly pushed his face into Dereks chest. 

“Spencer, you are going to kill yourself worrying about the future like that.” 

Derek rested his chin softly into Spencer's curls, “When was the last time you had a good night sleep?” 

“I don’t know...” 

That was all Derek needed to hear. Before Spencer could understand what was happening, he was hoisted up and practically thrown over the taller man's shoulder. He arms were pinned flat to his chest and arm was resting under his bottom as he was now being carried who knows where. 

“Derek, I was being serious.” 

“And so am I. Why don’t you call her tomorrow and talk to her and see how she's feeling instead of listening's to doctors whose job it is to prepare you for the worst.” 

“The dishes...” He weakly protested, barely able to lift his head up in the position he was in. Looking back into the kitchen, he was carried thought the door and into the hallway. 

“That's a ‘future us’ problem.” 

Spencer couldn’t stop the laughter that came bubbling up, as he was carried unceremoniously down the hallway and into his bedroom. 


End file.
